Maybe i’ve liked you for a very long time but didn’t realize it ‘cause i HATED YOU SO MUCH
can we imagine that this is bucky’s subconscious, that he fells so lost and confused and the only thing really stuck in his head is this scrawny, 92-pound short blonde boy that he dreams about almost every night, regardless if its just for an hour so, he still see this kids face. for 50-sum years, not matter how many times hes been wiped the boys still here. and then one day whens he sent on a mission, he sees the face of the boy, but his chin defined, cheekbones not-so sunken in. and his body is almost 3 times of what bucky’s dream guy is, but his eyes are just like the boy’s, calls him bucky, just like he does in his dreams. and for a moment he hesitates, but not during the fight, no after. again they wiped him, he can’t bear the electroshocks or the amount of screaming he is doing so he gives in and passes out, and there’s that boy again leaning against this dream-wall, just smiling at him, 3 steps and bucky is in front of him, and once again he gives in, bending over ever so slowly, leans his forehead to the other’s shoulder and cries. he knows, that man he fought that afternoon, his “mission”, he was the boy in his dreams, he was his friend.
Cold, angry eyes stared down at the lifeless body that had been hauled onto the river’s bank just seconds before. Every fiber of his being was telling him to leave. He’d already failed his mission by rescuing the dying man, he didn’t need to fuck it up further. Still, he felt firmly rooted in place. He knelt down beside the Captain, sand and blood clinging to both of their sopping wet outfits, keeping his gaze fixed on the larger man’s face.
From somewhere buried deep inside him he felt a vague sense of alarm.
Captain America - Steve Rogers - was not breathing.
He reached around his neck to check for a pulse with the only hand that could feel it. Weak; he’d probably lost a fair amount of blood after being shot several times by the hand now making sure he was still alive. What an idiot. The both of them were. He should have killed him while he had the chance - instead he dove into the water after him, forcing his own battered body to swim him to the shore. He still didn’t know why. He felt nothing for this man. He was an assassin - a soldier - not someone who saved people. And yet, for some godforsaken reason, he couldn’t bring himself to let this man die.
The Winter Soldier lifted the Captain’s head, closed his eyes, and pressed his lips to his.
By the time Steve had finished coughing up water and managed to open his own eyes, he was alone, left only with the sound of the river and a too-familiar taste on his lips.
(i’m dumb bye)
bucky still isn’t so happy about the fact that steve is taller than him.
because i’ve promised heidi some stucky